Name a roach after your partner or send your ex a scorpion: The most bizarre Valentine’s Day promotions on offer this year

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Looking for something to send that special someone this Valentine’s Day? People wanting to express their feelings this month—be it love or loathing—have plenty of options courtesy of a raft of baffling campaigns.

Consumers are expected to spend big in the run-up to Feb. 14, and are even willing to take on credit card debt to make it happen, according to Lending Tree. The National Retail Federation is predicting Americans will spend $25.9 billion on the event this year, up from $23.9 billion in 2022—making it one of the country’s highest Valentine’s spends on record.

If you’re looking for some shopping inspiration this year, here are a few ways you can celebrate the holiday of love.

‘Give them goosebumps’ with a personalized cockroach

According to The Bronx Zoo, flowers come and go—but naming a Madagascan hissing cockroach after your partner is “forever.” A digital certificate announcing the newly-named bug will be sent to your Valentine for a “gift to remember,” and if that isn’t enough, shoppers can upgrade to tote bags, tumblers, or even a virtual encounter with the roach.

These 15-minute online sessions give buyers and their better halves a chance to sit on-screen with a cockroach expert and be talked through how the creatures are cared for and what makes them “unique and charming.”

Hug a cow

Keeping with the theme of nature, why not take some inspiration from the Indian government and show some love for four-legged friends this year?

Feb. 14 has been declared “Cow Hug Day” in India, where people are being encouraged to set aside Western notions of the celebration and instead cuddle one of the country’s sacred animals. Cows are holy within the religion of Hinduism, with almost 80% of the country practicing the faith.

The Guardian reported that India’s government encouraged people to hug cows as it “will bring emotional richness” and “increase our individual and collective happiness.”

Send your ex a scorpion in the mail

Hard seltzer brand Topo Chico is offering shoppers a cheeky option if they want to get back at their former flames. The arachnid will arrive on the chosen recipient’s doorstep in a heart-shaped box, the brand proudly said, and can be ordered from Feb. 10 through Feb. 14.

But don’t worry—past squeezes will be able to enjoy the gift as the pinched beasts are edible and ethically sourced, as reported by AdWeek. The scorpions will even be drizzled in Topo Chico’s signature strawberry guava flavor for a sweet kick.

Last year, the brand ran a similar campaign, which saw people sending cacti to their exes.

Turn love letters into toilet paper

Still got cards and notes filled with sweet nothings hanging around from previous relationships? It’s time to let them go down the drain for good. Recycled toilet paper business Who Gives A Cr*p is offering to “turn your ex’s empty promises into something that’s actually useful.” Simply mail the team the heartfelt notes and they’ll transform them into toilet tissue.

You can “let everyone know it’s officially over” by posting the correspondence to addresses in Australia, the U.S. and the United Kingdom.

“Nothing says closure like knowing that someone, somewhere is putting those sweet nothings exactly where they belong,” the company said.

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