Stephen Colbert Mocks Trump’s Desperate Efforts To Avoid Trial

Must read

With his criminal trial less than a week away, Stephen Colbert mocked Trump’s efforts to delay the case.

Colbert said:

Trump’s lawyers argued that the former president wouldn’t get a fair trial because the jury pool has been polluted by news coverage of Trump’s other recent cases. So are you saying members of the jury can’t have seen any news about Donald Trump’s crimes? His crimes are the news!

I don’t understand. Who would that leave? “Your honor, it’s only fair that our client be judged by an impartial jury who know nothing about the events in America over the last nine years. Might I recommend 12 confused men who were dropped off in a forest as infants and then raised by wolves, or, if they’re not available, could we acquire some clone babies that have been rapidly aged in some sort of machine and then released into the jury box? Oh? Oh, they think he’s guilty too? Okay.”

To get more stories like this, subscribe to our newsletter The Daily.

Trump’s change-of-venue request wasn’t the only desperate stunt he pulled. He also tried suing the judge. Yes, it’s bizarro court! The defendant is suing the judge! The bible’s swearing on the bailiff! The gavel’s banging everyone! I believe that’s one of Stormy’s movies. The gavel’s banging everyone! The lawsuit challenges the gag order Judge Merchan placed on Trump to stop him from verbally attacking witnesses, jurors, and others, including, this is important, the judge’s daughter, who Trump attacked on social media. Trump has also called on Judge Merchan to recuse himself, alleging bias. Yes, the judge has to recuse himself because Trump attacked the judge’s family.


The argument from Trump’s lawyers is basically that the ex-president has committed too many crimes in Manhattan to get a fair trial, so Trump needs his trial moved to somewhere that is less familiar with his history of criminal activity.

Stephen Colbert was correct. Trump is desperate. The failed former president didn’t really believe that he would ever stand trial, and why should he?

Trump is a person who has gotten away with everything for his entire left and has never been held accountable, so it must be shocking for him to be facing consequences for his actions.

Defendant Trump will only grow more desperate as the accountability is coming and he seems powerless to stop it.

A Special Message From PoliticusUSA

If you are in a position to donate purely to help us keep the doors open on PoliticusUSA during what is a critical election year, please do so here. 

We have been honored to be able to put your interests first for 14 years as we only answer to our readers and we will not compromise on that fundamental, core PoliticusUSA value.

More articles

Latest article